Thoughts on My Commitment to Not Date in High School

Today is my last day before graduating!!! I’m so excited and ready! Yet, I’m not seeking to rush the plans God has ahead. Before starting high school, I made a commitment with the Lord that I wasn’t going to date over the four years. Instead of seeing graduation as a time of breaking free from chains that have bound me up, I know God has used the past four years to be a pit stop of freedom for me. I’m stepping into God’s hands as He leads and guides me in His plans.

More proud than even publishing my first book, I’m so beyond grateful to the Lord for helping me stay true to the promise I made to Him and myself.

I have lacked no good thing.

I have discovered and delved into my identity as a daughter of the King.

I’ve had my gifts revealed and deeply grown in them.

I’ve invested into the people God has placed around me.

I’ve cried out to the Lord and known He has heard and answered me.

I’ve noticed the Lord give me detailed characteristics and things to look for in confirming who He has for me to marry.

I’ve been close to compromise, almost fallen into it, and graciously been kept from it.

God has become my greatest delight and deepest desire.

In November, my fragile heart witnessed the Lord work in new ways. My spirit was hurting but filled with Hope. This is when I witnessed the contagious joy of the Lord unlike ever before or since then. God opened my eyes to new things and called me to intentionally pray for my future husband.

This past Valentine’s Day, I was bubbling over with His joy and thanking the Lord for this season of singleness in my life. I’ve been learning so much over the past six months about God’s heart and design for things.

As a fourteen-year-old girl, I vowed this commitment to myself and the Lord in my family’s kitchen. Home alone and having a worship party, I made official the thing the Lord was asking me to do. 

In middle school, I thought having a “boyfriend” was a part of the whole package of complete living. The other things in the package included having the most monogrammed clothes, Lilly Pulitzer accessories, friends, sleepovers, perfectly white teeth, and bleach blonde hair.

Culture and lies of it ran me completely ragged. My attempts to live for God and impress the world collapsed the summer heading into eighth grade.

I came home from FUGE camp knowing God had intentionally protected and pursued my heart-even when I was lost blindly trying to seek after Him.

I made a phone call that ended what I had invested myself into. I was broken of me and the fake life I had built around me.

God let me know He was my Redeemer. He didn’t just seek me whenever I had it together. He knows I still don’t and never will 100%.

God pursued me in my dirt and filth. In the messiest parts of me, He saw the beauty and gifts He was uncovering.

Undeniably His is so much more than a cute or unique blog title to me. It is my challenge and a part of my life with Christ story!

My identity is in the Lord. Not in holding someone’s hand, how well I curl my hair, or how nice and stylish my clothes are. The things of the world are going to fade away, but my Hope is eternal!

I no longer see dating as a fun time that’s wasteful. It’s an intentional part of being prepared for an earthly love that reflects Christ’s love for His Church.

My mom once shared an analogy with me that I do not forget. She compared a girl to a full flower with beautiful petals. As each guy came into the girl’s life and took things not intended for him to take, petals fell off one by one. By the time the girl got married, she had no petals left for her husband. How sad! 

While God gives grace and redeems our past mistakes, I purposed in my heart that I (someone who adores flowers) didn’t want any more petals to be falling to the ground in my life. Not even one. I imagined a full, vibrant, and blooming flower for the man God has for me on my wedding day.

While I was constantly reminded of my commitment to not date in high school (whether it was because of the new cute boy in my freshman class lol or when I wasn’t the one getting a promposal), I’ve truly rejoiced in this four year season. I haven’t been the one missing out. I have been able to give and pour so much into others who are hurting.

I’m so excited for the earthly love story God has for me. I’m pretty sure my future husband is one of the most prayed for people alive. 🙂

He is committed to the Lord above all else, has a heart for ministry, is wise, intentional, generous, and set apart. He has a different spirit about him and changes the atmosphere of a room whenever he walks into it. I don’t have to fear him being fake. His love for the Lord is the most attractive thing about him. I know my future husband is going to love people lavishly and use his strong arms and hands to bless others. 

Our marriage isn’t going to symbolize us leaving our gifts and callings behind. I believe the Lord has purposefully gifted each of us with things to better impact and further His Kingdom together.

Although we will die to ourselves more, it’ll be a subtraction (two becoming one) that’ll create the biggest addition.

I’m thankful to the Lord today. Thankful for every turn, twist, and time He has said “no.” Thankful for every prayer He has uttered from me. Thankful for His friendship, protection, grace, and care. Thankful for the privilege I have to do life with Him intimately.

Although I have the rest of my life to keep getting to know Jesus better, I can gratefully say I know Him more than ever before today.

Where are you at today, brother or sister? Are you living in a fake and empty world you have created? Are you tied to that boyfriend or girlfriend that is no good for you? Are you desperate for the love God made you for?

Sacrifice the things you have been holding onto. Lay every dream, desire, wish, fear, and doubt down at your Father’s feet.

As I recently heard, “God isn’t withholding anything good from you, sister (or brother).” God has and IS His very best for you. Stop looking to the ways of the world to satisfy you. 

Rest in the love Jesus died to give you. It’s the sweetest love we have been given and will ever receive.

The Lord isn’t keeping you in a box of slavery away from fun. The things He calls you to are for your freedom.

Obviously staying true to the commitment wasn’t always easy, but I know my God is faithful! I’ve surrendered everything to Him and showed Him how serious I am in waiting for His best in my future husband. All the hills and valleys from the past four years have been woven together into a beautiful story that brings and will continue to bring Jesus the most glory.

Do the things your Father is asking, challenging, and telling you to do, my friend. Hard times will come, but you will never regret walking into the plans God has in store for you.

If someone is currently asking you to lay down the things God has instilled within you, do not fall into the trap of believing they are the person God has sent to you. God’s best for you is not going to ask you to compromise on something the Lord has already said.

Keep being patient. Keep praying. Keep pouring your heart out. Trust that God hears and answers you. He isn’t going to let you be shaken as you hold onto and trust Him. Believe that God has good plans in store for your life.

With only a few more hours until my graduation day, I can’t express to you how thankful I am for being able to have this as my story. I’m so grateful for our God not giving up on us. He is with you, for you, fighting for you, and desiring for you to give every single part of yourself to Him.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” -Matthew 6:33 (KJV)

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” -Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” -Psalm 84:11 (NIV)

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