For the past two weeks of college, I have struggled with casting off the coat of lies the enemy has been trying to place on me.
The thoughts running through my mind were, “Do you really believe your God is real? Do you really think those things are true?”
I think many of us find ourselves wondering where Jesus is at. In our darkest and hardest moments we ask why we can’t see God working so clearly.
“Lord, where are You at? Don’t You see how desperate I am for You? How long is this fog in the tunnel going to last? I want Your joy spilling from me. How can I share You with others when I feel this low?”
You have asked or are asking these questions, and I have been too.
I have raised an eyebrow questioning why I wasn’t as close to God as I thought I should be.
“Lord, I am praying on my rides to school. I haven’t missed a day in reading Your Word in so long. Did you even notice I took a break from social media? I’m serving at church, planning things for You, and doing all the right things with good intentions. Where are You at?”
“You don’t see Me, Haley (insert your name here), because I am fighting for You. You can’t expect Me to be revealing Myself fully to you when I’m actively fighting in the battle for you now too. Lie down in the green pastures. I have sent the Holy Spirit to comfort you. You are safe here. Stop asking where I am at and start thanking Me for where I am.”
It is not about me. I can’t serve, love, pray, read, plan, or do enough to get myself to my Dad’s feet. He makes a way for us to be close to Him.
When reading Psalm 108 (CSB) this morning, verse four oddly stood out to me.
“For your faithful love is higher than the heavens,
and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.”
After being in a trance from doing homework behind my computer screen for hours, I set out for my beloved path to meet with the Lord. I have decided to push through lies and continue to pursue God in His truth.
I noticed the sunset tonight as I prayed aloud on the path. I exclaimed, “Wow, Lord! This sunset is the prettiest one I have seen in a long time!” It really was. What lesson was I supposed to get from the clouds? The theme of clouds was popping up in my time with Jesus in His Word and also while I was walking on the path.
A few incredible thoughts dawned on me.
- We usually only observe God’s love from afar off. Jesus came to be our airplane. There are new heights God has for us to be in. We are drawing in close now, and He is lifting us up.
- Our perspectives change within the clouds. Small things turn into tiny dots and big things appear smaller than rocks. Our focus changes in Jesus’ Presence. We are dependent on Him for safety, protection, and endurance. We trust He is the One carrying us where we need to go.
- Flying in the sky and being closer to God than ever before is a journey. We are eventually going to land somewhere, but that is good. Our Captain will drop us off where He needs to send us. He will come back to get us. We can’t be on the plane all of the time and live the ordained lives God has given to us. Our walks with Jesus will experience take offs, turbulence, smooth rides, sweet moments, and solid landings. Jesus doesn’t leave us at or in any of these processes, my friends.
- Don’t hate or neglect the ground just because you loved the clouds. Purposely live on mission for your King. He is with you, equipping you, guiding you, leading you, and placing people around you.
- Distance can’t stop God’s love for me or for you.
I must tell you some things, loved one.
God has not left you. You can call Him intimate names again. Rest without striving to perform. Keep praying and praising in the storm. Shout your Father’s Name. Believe He hears your messy, vulnerable, real, and raw prayers. Let go of everything other than Him. He will show you the things He wants you to be a part of. Don’t give up because it is hard.
People around you do notice Jesus burning and shining inside and out of you. You are making a difference whether people say anything to you or not. Keep being holy. Continue to let God heal you.
You bring Jesus to the people around you. I wish we would all have a glimpse of ourselves though His eyes.
You are set apart. You are different. You are making a difference.
Keep stepping. Don’t stop marching forward.
Your words will flow and your songs will come back. Move on from the past.
God truly does hear our prayers and pays close attention to the small, yet important, details on our hearts.
Keep praying and praising as you believe God is fighting for you.
Psalm 23:2 (ESV) has been near to me recently. It says, “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.” I challenge you to go read the whole chapter.
Loving you with the love of God,